HELP me to stop running

Hello folks. Pray all of you are doing well.

If you were following my last post, you remember that I told you that I had a speaking engagement on that day. The engagement was at my church. I was asked to be one of the presenters at our ladies retreat.

Let me give you some history. On Saturday’s, my church usually hosts prayer service early in the morning. On one particular Saturday, as I was praying, I was asking God to use me, send me, I am available to you, Lord. Soon thereafter, maybe an hour later, my Bishop’s wife approached me about speaking at the retreat. She was absolutely in tune with the Spirit of God.

How could I say no? I had already boxed myself in with the conversation I had with God earlier that morning. Learn to shut up Jackie.

Okay, so at the retreat, I spoke and as usual the Holy Spirit came in and took over. I rehearsed what I was going to say as I always do, remember how I hate public speaking, but the Holy Spirit ended up coming in and taking over. Blessed Spirit, thank you.

The retreat was oh so powerful. I learned many new things about staying healthy and taking better care of myself. They told me to stay away from processed foods, cook more and stop eating out, I learned how to properly cleanse my face, I learned to keep a list of questions to ask my medical doctor, etc. So much valuable information was dispensed and it was simply awesome.

At the end of the retreat, many people approached me to thank me for delivering a powerful message from God.

One of the Pastors approached me and told me to stop running from the call of God on my life, but to embrace it. Say what! Now God, we really have to talk. I love you so much, but preaching was not part of our deal. I agreed to write about you, talk about you, live for you and do what you ask me to do, but we never spoke about this preaching thing.

You see, I always think about preachers as the first people that God will hold accountable for the things that they say. and the things that they do. God will say, “obviously, you knew about it since you preached it.” Ayyyy. On judgment day, I can no longer get away with feigning ignorance, although ignorance of the law is no excuse. I had it all planned out God. Now, you are trying to take away one of my best excuses. Hold on God, we really need to have a little sit down or side bar conversation.

One of my colleagues on my job attended the retreat and later told me that I should go back to school to get my credentials to preach. Are you kidding me? She said that every time she sees me giving a presentation in church, she thinks that I might have missed my calling. Calling? Whose calling? She said that it seems as if you have been called to tell people about God and his goodness. O Father!

The Pastor said that I should embrace my calling, embrace it. Embrace it? So I can be held accountable for everything that I say? I don’t know about that one. So, the judgment will start with me? I really don’t know about that mission, Lord.

Yet, I desire to do your will and not my own. I desire to serve you with every fiber of my body. It may not garner me a whole lot of friends, but it’s okay, I will always have you and that’s enough for me.

But God, please help me since I am not sure that I can stop running from this calling on my own. You might be calling, but I don’t want to answer. Help me.

Photo by Pixabay on
Photo by Pixabay on
Photo by Emma Bauso on

Help me to run towards you like this little innocent child, not knowing where I am going– but trusting that you will get me to my destination safely. I love you Lord.

Off to the races. Ready, set, go.

Maybe. Still tying up my laces. Stay tuned.


Published by Sister Jackie

I am a wife, mother, grandmother and caretaker, and I also work outside of the home. Life has its struggles but I am not complaining. It could always be worse. Many lessons learned on my journey and many more to come--I am sure. God has a sense of humor and I have certainly learned how to laugh at myself. You should too-it is quite therapeutic. After all, some things we cannot change so why not enjoy a good laugh at our own expense. See you soon.

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